Down But Not Out
So, here's the thing.
Big changes at the Hamilton house, starting today (which is Wednesday, but you'll probably be reading this on Thursday, so maybe I mean yesterday . . . damn . . . the days, they seem to run together).
We have added a new ingredient into the stew that is our family.
Her name is Sophie.
She is three months old.
She is the reason WHY I will never have any more children.
Let me clarify. I'm babysitting. For a month. For a friend of mine who has to return from maternity leave to finish out the school year. I had forgotten many things about tiny babies, namely, how needy they are.
Soap-y, as my youngest calls her, is a jewel. She dazzles and she knows it. She does all of the typical things that three month olds do, and she does them with Gap-baby style. My other charges, my own offspring, are the problems. They want to be hands-on. They want Soap-y to play catch. They want her to stampede over the flowers in our backyard alongside them.
Soap-y cannot walk, nor can she hold things, with the exception of another person's index finger, which she enjoys hinging her small fist around. I would guess that stampedes and football are out of the question.
We make do by surrounding her, as she reclines on a blanket on the floor, and offering her stuffed toys while poking all of the body parts that comprise her head (i.e. "Wook, eyes!").
I have been "the babysitter" for one day, and I am exhausted.
So, I write this and I tell you that if you have emailed me, I probably will not be able to respond to it until Friday night, when the week is over and I can enjoy your words, as well as a nice bottle of Riesling or case of beer. At that point, I will enjoy my other addiction: reading your blogs.
Soap-y does not like the computer. The clicking annoys her.
I cannot even BELIEVE that I was bitching about not feeling "inspired" yesterday!
Big changes at the Hamilton house, starting today (which is Wednesday, but you'll probably be reading this on Thursday, so maybe I mean yesterday . . . damn . . . the days, they seem to run together).
We have added a new ingredient into the stew that is our family.
Her name is Sophie.
She is three months old.
She is the reason WHY I will never have any more children.
Let me clarify. I'm babysitting. For a month. For a friend of mine who has to return from maternity leave to finish out the school year. I had forgotten many things about tiny babies, namely, how needy they are.
Soap-y, as my youngest calls her, is a jewel. She dazzles and she knows it. She does all of the typical things that three month olds do, and she does them with Gap-baby style. My other charges, my own offspring, are the problems. They want to be hands-on. They want Soap-y to play catch. They want her to stampede over the flowers in our backyard alongside them.
Soap-y cannot walk, nor can she hold things, with the exception of another person's index finger, which she enjoys hinging her small fist around. I would guess that stampedes and football are out of the question.
We make do by surrounding her, as she reclines on a blanket on the floor, and offering her stuffed toys while poking all of the body parts that comprise her head (i.e. "Wook, eyes!").
I have been "the babysitter" for one day, and I am exhausted.
So, I write this and I tell you that if you have emailed me, I probably will not be able to respond to it until Friday night, when the week is over and I can enjoy your words, as well as a nice bottle of Riesling or case of beer. At that point, I will enjoy my other addiction: reading your blogs.
Soap-y does not like the computer. The clicking annoys her.
I cannot even BELIEVE that I was bitching about not feeling "inspired" yesterday!
posted by Cate at 7:37 PM
22 Comments:
Assuming that your friend is a teacher of 30 or so students, with papers to grade, lesson plans to write, parents to phone, etc...I would still say that her job is much less exhausting than yours...and I know...I'm a teacher :-)
Hang in there!
Oh wow. Good luck with that Cate. When ever I babysit my friends daughter (we are talking 3 hours max) I too am reminded and oh so grateful that my kids are older. Its the always having to be "on" that is the killer. You can never look away even for a second....sigh, makes me tired just thinking about it.
You are a SWEET, SWEET, albeit crazy friend to volunteer for a whoooole month.
Kudos to you hon!
a.
Wow, what a great friend you are! That's a big commitment. Beware, though. My little sister only exists because one of my mom's friends had a baby when my brother and I were 4 and 5, and my mom got in the mood for a baby again!
Three months is an amazing age. May Soap-y inspire you and fill you with wonder that will explode on the keyboard at the end of the month. (Of course, we also hope to hear before that, too!)
And yes, you are an incredible friend.
Oh my. Really, just Oh. My. I'll be hoping on your behalf that she sleeps adorably for a big chunk of the next month. :-)
Oh boy! Have fun with Soap-y!
Soap-y.. how adorable is that! :-)
Hands-on Hazel and Intrepid Iris taught me quite a lot:
If you hold Soap-y under the arms you can use her like a Foosball person and she can play football with the best.
All a three month old needs to stampede is a prosthetic adult. I like a front pack or sling for such things. Lacking either put her back against your front, your arms around her torso under her arms and one hand down the centre grabbing the nappy. Bend your knees rather than stooping. Stop before you get sore.
Soap-y might also like to be the hub of a stampede around her, probably while you hold her so she feels safe.
Would you like a few more ideas?
Small children enjoy having babies on their laps, sometimes for as long as a minute. Sit the child down with legs out and back support, on the floor but against a wall perhaps. "Sit" Soap-y between the legs with her back against their front and get them to hold her for balance. Watch her face for crumpling. If Soap-y gets good at it she might like a mirror held low to see herself and her big friend in, or she might let them feed her a bottle if she has one. One helper could hold her and the other the bottle.
Soap-y probably will "kiss", albeit sloppily, if you hold her cheek to the downy breast-like cheek of a child. Small children may squeal delightedly. Hold Soap-y's ear away from child's mouth when she gives her "funny baby kisses".
Soap-y may well be happy to be pushed on a baby swing for a long time by eager little hands.
"Gentle baby pushes"
"But she likes it!"
Children often like to fetch and carry for babies.
"Could you pass me Soap-y's burp cloth please? ... Oh. ... Could you fetch that wet flannel that's on the table too please."
Soap-y would probably like them to bring her interesting things to mouth. "You're right; it is quite big so it can't move to the wrong part of her mouth and stop her breathing, and it doesn't fall to pieces, but mice have some of the same sicknesses as us and this one is dead. The bugs that killed it might make Soap-y sick so I think we'll just bury it instead."
Best of luck.
T Minus 20 minutes until Soap-y and I'm hoarding (don't know if that is the right word) internet time because I know that it's all over after 7:30.
Thanks for the wonderful, supportive, fabulous comments! You all made me GRIN!
Susan, awwww, thanks for all of the ideas. You were cracking me up--esp. mice to mouth! Yep, that's about what I'm dealing with--helpers that want to SHOVE things into Soap-y's mouth, feed her bottles, give many kisses, etc! Thank you--you're incredible!
I feel so much better about doing this this morning--just feel comforted by all of your words, feel like you UNDERSTAND! Thank you!
xo
I love it that I found you & your writing. Love it.
When I read " Soap-y does not like the computer. The clicking annoys her." I smiled but also felt very uncomfortable, recalling a small person who also did not appreciate mommy on the computer. Those first three months were a blur and the first two years were fantastic and also, well - freakin hard.
The thing about babysitting an infant is that you don't have that build up of, I don't know, being able to do it all without getting quite as tired as maybe a grandparent or aunt or something. No wonder you're so worn out :-)
Hi Cate! I hope Soap-y naps a lot so you can have a break and exist as your own self..
I just rememberd how these were when they were babies... these being the creative speedy blabbering prettyfaced monsters here with chicken pox. And thus not in daycare - bye computer, they think they own it.
That's how the lovies turned back to monsters... nobody ever ever gets my humor on the monster thing excep the monsters themselves.... and you, I know that.
Take care!!!
Hmm...this is why I'll be happy to be the aunty but not the mum :D
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Babysitting for a month? A three month old? Wow, I'd say that you are both a very good friend and slightly crazy! Ship her over to me - I'm getting a little broody & I could use the birth control!! ;)
Hee hee - you forget how exhausting babies are until you're right in the middle.. I guess that is what keeps people reproducing!
I love that you call her "Baby Soap-y" - so cute!!!! The whole description, right down to the pinky holding, was just all baby. Instead of making me tired.. it made me want to be around a baby!
What a great friend you are Cate, to help your friend out like this. I was with a newborn and having to finish school so I know what it's like. I love that her name is Soap-y and I'm with you; babies are a lot of work!!
nothing like
babysitting
for
birth control...
i look after 4 children everyday.
one is 3 and
has just been diagnosed
with high functional autism
one is 2
one is 1
and one is 10 months.
i have 2 of my own
and that is ALL i will ever have.
no "oh i wish i had another baby"
feelings here...heeheehee
:)
Hi Cate ~ Well, my dear you have got your hands full ~ a WHOLE month... wow! Have fun, I am sure you will survive, and I am sure with some classic stories to tell.
Reminder... Friday is here which means Friday NIGHT is around the corner. Get that bottle opener (or cork screw) ready. Cheers to the weekend!
A break is looming around the corner.
Hugs!
Good luck Mama Bean! Hang in there. :)
My goodness to be handed over a child for a month. What a unique situation.
She doesn't like the computer. Do you think you'll audioblog in that case?
P.S. My cat doesn't like the computer clicking either.
i got to soap-y does not like the computer...and just cracked up. the way you paint with your words just makes me so happy.
hope you enjoyed your wine or beer or a nice long nap...
Susanlavonne,
I hear ya. I was a school-based SLP and when my first child was born, I was grateful to go back to work because it was a bit of a break--scheduled planning and lunchtimes! But not to discount what educators do--I can't even IMAGINE running a class with 30 students! My hat's off to you! xo
A,
Yep, that's it. Perfectly said. Being "on." With your own kids, you just don't have to perform. Soap-y has had more quality 1:1 time with me than my boys ever had. Which makes me sad. But now, I try harder with them when she leaves, so I guess the lessons learned are good ones! Love ya!
Laini,
HA! No, Soap-y has been the BEST birth control! Prior to her, I was sort of feeling the babylove. Gone. Finished. Moved out. Even after my time with her is over, I will borrow her if that babylove returns. I forgot how exhausting a little person can be!
Patry,
Y'know, I thought that three months would be worse. My boys were colicky so I just assumed that she would be, too. She's such a content baby! And of course, her lack of mobility is a real plus! I don't know what I would do without the swing! Thanks for your lovely words!
Deb,
Oh, indeed! Fortunately, she takes these long, power naps in the morning AND afternoon! It's fabulous. I feel so bad for her mother, though. She gets all of the sleepless nights!
Jennifer,
Aww, thanks, sweetie! It's much more fun than I thought it would be!
Colleen,
Isn't that cute? We will never call her by her real name again!
Susan,
Oh, what can I say? You made me sooo happy with that comment. I read it right before she arrived and it made me grin. I felt less overwhelmed, more open, generous, etc. Thank you for those funny, true words! Thank you!
Jennifer,
Oh, thank you for your kind comment! I feel the same about having discovered your blog! And your words were so true--it all becomes a blur--a blur of eating, diaper changes, sleeping, crying, cooing, "playing." NEEDING, NEEDING, NEEDING! She's amazing, though--so beautiful and smart!
Ann Marie,
I laughed at the Monsters nickname. I have called my children "animals," to the horror of most listeners, and I can't convince them that I'm being honest and not mean. They ARE like animals--driven by instinct, desire. Prowling. Examining. Taking. Consuming!
Also, I wish somebody had said to me "exist as your own self" when I first had my sons. So important and so true!
Verniciousknids,
Hey! Thanks for the visit! And thanks for reading my story! I really appreciate that! Re: being the aunty--you're a wise, wise woman!
Megg,
Y'know, that could go either way. She's so amazing that you could feel the babylove overtake you! You'd have to have her longer than I do--a couple of overnights might do the "birth control" trick!
Holli,
Isn't it funny how we're wired to forget? You rarely hear someone with a three month old say: I can't wait to have my next one! I feel like a grandparent--I get to borrow and enjoy and give back! xo
Acumamakiki,
I cannot even imagine finishing school with a newborn. Nope, can't. You amaze me! I'll bet you got little to no sleep! Belated hugs to you on that one, sister!
GKGirl,
Whenever I feel like complaining, I think about you and your job. Like I was saying to Acumamakiki, I can't even fathom that. You must be sooo tired at nighttime. And you must LIVE for the weekends! :)
Earth Monkey,
I nearly WEPT when S's mother picked her up last night. I didn't know what to do with myself. So I ate. I drank. And then I slept. Sort of like Soap-y herself!
Shannon,
Thanks! I'm living the break right now. It's heaven!
Jessie,
Mama Bean--I love that! Thanks for making me smile!
Pearl,
Ahhhh-screaming with laughter over the audioblog remark! GOOD ONE! I don't think there's much of a difference between cats and three month olds--although I must say that cats are certainly less needy. They both mew a lot. They like to eat. I also laughed over the cat disliking the clicking. How do you ever get any work done? xo
Liz,
Oh, I shouldn't ever complain! I've got it good. And I soooo enjoyed my bottle of beer--it was delicious!
Post a Comment
<< Home