When It Rains . . .
So, this is what I'm thinking*, just after clicking the email that tells me that one of my favorite stories is being rejected by a prestigious literary magazine.
(*many, many curse words follow: read at own risk)
Fuck. What the hell? Well, when it rains, it pours. Maybe if I didn't write in cliches, I'd be published. Now, what? Obviously I'm crap. No, they're crap. Who the hell are they to be the gate keepers? I don't write their way. Should I change it? Can I change my style? Maybe I need to write differently. Why would I want to write differently? What am I missing here? How can I think something is good and them not be impressed? Fuck all the people who say not to take rejections to heart (cliche again) because it makes you feel like your heart is getting ripped out (cliche). Fuck all the people who say that this is part of the job--it might be part of the job but it's a fucking unfair part of the job because first, you pour your heart (cliche) onto the page, then you send it out (the page, not your heart), then you wait three fucking months, then you get the form letter rejection telling you that they'll regretfully pass, and you think, if you people were so fucking regretful about it, you wouldn't pass. It's not even like they're paying for the fucking story. I'm giving away something that nobody wants. Maybe I should play The Sims 2. Or eat another bowl of soup. Or have a Coke. I don't feel like writing in my journal today. That's it--mass submissions! Self publish. Give up. Not, not give up. Try harder. No, keep the course. I mean, stay the course. Write everyday and accept that no one may ever read it. Put this in perspective. Re-evaluate. Maybe I should scramble up the magnetic poetry and take the message as an omen. Maybe I should have a Girl Scout cookie. Or a row. Where's "The Right to Write?" This place is a mess. What's the point? I need to mark this down on my submission sheet before I forget. Oh, another point towards a self-purchased consolation prize. Idiots. Whatever.
Let it go.
(*many, many curse words follow: read at own risk)
Fuck. What the hell? Well, when it rains, it pours. Maybe if I didn't write in cliches, I'd be published. Now, what? Obviously I'm crap. No, they're crap. Who the hell are they to be the gate keepers? I don't write their way. Should I change it? Can I change my style? Maybe I need to write differently. Why would I want to write differently? What am I missing here? How can I think something is good and them not be impressed? Fuck all the people who say not to take rejections to heart (cliche again) because it makes you feel like your heart is getting ripped out (cliche). Fuck all the people who say that this is part of the job--it might be part of the job but it's a fucking unfair part of the job because first, you pour your heart (cliche) onto the page, then you send it out (the page, not your heart), then you wait three fucking months, then you get the form letter rejection telling you that they'll regretfully pass, and you think, if you people were so fucking regretful about it, you wouldn't pass. It's not even like they're paying for the fucking story. I'm giving away something that nobody wants. Maybe I should play The Sims 2. Or eat another bowl of soup. Or have a Coke. I don't feel like writing in my journal today. That's it--mass submissions! Self publish. Give up. Not, not give up. Try harder. No, keep the course. I mean, stay the course. Write everyday and accept that no one may ever read it. Put this in perspective. Re-evaluate. Maybe I should scramble up the magnetic poetry and take the message as an omen. Maybe I should have a Girl Scout cookie. Or a row. Where's "The Right to Write?" This place is a mess. What's the point? I need to mark this down on my submission sheet before I forget. Oh, another point towards a self-purchased consolation prize. Idiots. Whatever.
Let it go.
posted by Cate at 11:04 AM
24 Comments:
Well now. I'm guessing you feel better now that you've got that off your chest. Now would be the time to send it out to more places (I hope I'm wrong in my read-between-the-lines assessment of your sim sub policy. It reads like you don't do mass subbing), and then get to work on the next story.
I'll cliche it for you, time to dust off and get back on the old horse, or bull, or whatever your ride preference is. :)
It's fun really, isn't it?
JC
If you want, I'll go with you to TP the publisher's building. :-)
{{{Cate}}}
I can't respond to this here, it will take forever and I will take over your comment board.
Off to send email... Hugs and All untill you recieve it.
Speaking of recieving.. IT CAME!!!!!! I loved it all, of course.
I believe in you. Keep it up. Once you are done screaming and swearing of course :) Seriously, you are so talented.
Hey~
My favorite cliche...
"The brick that the builder once rejected, in the long run, becomes the corner stone."
Roar, Grrrroooowwwwwlllll, screw 'em.
I believe in you!! (cliche... but true!!)
xo
letting go is a good process.
Yep, laugh, tailspin of refusal slip. Further evidence writing is a calling not a choice. Why would anyone choose this? And yet we do, we do.
Here's another cliche for you... "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."
We know that you will bounce back from this and get accepted. If youdon't already, start doing what Justin suggested. SPAM the heck out of them with your stuff. Sooner or later they are bound to stick.
Good luck! We're here for you!
Sounds about right.
I trust you'll keep going.
You don't write for your audience, you write for yourself. That's part of the art. Don't sell out - I love your style - that's why I keep coming back!!
Last fall I heard the story of some Irish-American writer whose name escapes me right now. She got quite famous in the early part of the 1900's. Her husband made a pile of journals he wanted to submit to. He began with the most prestigious, and sent her story off to the Atlantic. It was rejected. He worked his way down the pile: rejection after rejection. When the last journal turned the story down, he sent it to the Atlantic again. This time, it was accepted, and it was the beginning of a great career for her. Keep trying!
oh Cate, you are right.
"The right to write".
It depends so much on the editorial line and that can be very crappy indeed, depending on the mag and what they like.
Don't you lose your talent and your way of writing because of this. That would be the real loss.
Ann Marie
Cate,
You are a very talented writer. Don't let a stupid rejection letter make you doubt that.
BIG HUGS,
Tanya
Oh, what a day. Go ahead, let yourself feel mad and frustrated and defeated, then sweep it all out the door and pick yourself up again. Give that inner critic a swift kick, find yourself a positive mantra and repeat it over and over, then pick up the pen and do what you do. YOU ARE A SUCCESS!!
xoxo
melanie
I find making tiny voodoo dolls meant to represent various people and then torturing them makes me feel a bit better. Careful what you make them out of- some of that stuff puts out a nasty stink when burned.
Justin,
I'll take the mechanical bull (like "Sissy" on Urban Cowboy).Thanks for everything you did today--you have no idea how much the emails meant!
Deb,
I'll bring the masks, you bring the TP! Should I pick up Silly String? Thanks! You're wonderful! I felt that hug!
Rita,
Thank God. I'm glad you liked it! I want to hear every poem that you scribble down onto those tiny pages!
Jennifer,
You made me bawl. "I believe in you." Pretty powerful words. Thank you!
Proofreader's Friend,
You made me bawl extra hard. Thank you. That was a lovely thing to share. I'm going to write that down and pull it out on future rough days. Maybe on my screen saver?
Megg,
I love that GROWLLLLL! I'm gonna practice it. Thank you. It's all about taking back the power, isn't it? You're great!
Pearl,
That's what I kept thinking: "Why would anyone choose this?" As usual, your words are healing (and lyrical). You wouldn't happen to be a poet?!
Human Z,
I think that if I actually SPAMMED them, I'd be dealing with a whole other issue--being blackballed! I do like the idea, however. Those people will know my name, by God, whether they like it or not! Thank you for those generous words. You made me feel a lot better!
Jason,
Hahaha. I know. It's one of those days where I just need to whine about the unfairness of it all--y'know, sort of like a twelve year old would!
Holli,
Your site always cheers me up. I'm not kidding. And today's post was no different. Poor, poor Nate. And the work "lockdown." I loved it. Thanks for the comment--it means A LOT to me! Words to remember!
Tarakuanyin,
There you go--no rhyme nor reason (wait, is that another cliche?!). Same story, accepted at a later date. WOW! Very motivating. Thanks for this, and for coming here and reading my drivel. I'm not usually this whiny. Alright, maybe I am. But not always . . . Anyway, thank you!
Ann Marie,
You're making me tear up again. Really. You always write the wisest, kindest things. They mean so much, coming from someone as talented as you!
Tanya,
Alright, I'm bawling again! Thank you for that comment--I love "stupid rejection letter." Yes. STUPID, STUPID rejections. HUGS!!
Melanie,
Oh, thank you. Wasn't I just monologuing about creating for the sake of creating? Without thinking about the audience? Was that me?! Haha. Yes, I'd like to beat the shit out of that inner critic. Brawl!
Doc,
Huge smile here! I don't get the paperclip thing though. And I don't mind Smurfs. BUT, I adored all of the other stuff, esp. the Mel Brooks' quote! You're a good person! P.S. I know that I owe you an email. First thing tomorrow.
Eileen,
I'm going to AC Moore in the morning to gather materials! Editors beware! HAHA! Thanks for visiting, reading, and commenting. I appreciate it!
The last three words say it all...but i am glad that you said all the others because you have expressed what this feels like with such honesty and truth.
you are an amazing inspiration my dear. Yes You Are.
I SO felt this post. OMG...so so so felt it. Thank you for your honesty. Trust your voice (I know, easier said than done). I used to work in book publishing, and trust me...there are SO many reasons why projects get rejected that have nothing at ALL to do with the writing. You have a voice--you found it. That is a gift.
I personally love your writing, it speaks to me. I also think it was a good experience to get all those words out, rather than let them stew and ruminate and chew them over until there's nothing left to chew.
I don't have any advice because I wear my heart on my sleeve(cliche) but it's true. I take most things personally and really, every day I try to tell myself that it isn't.
I love when you let us read your mind. What a creative handling of the dreaded rejection. I wish you more appreciative and accepting readers at the next stop on your stories journey.
I honestly think it's a matter of having good work and then playing a numbers game and cultivating relationships. I'm sure you have good work. :)
Hey....
In my Poet Market for 2006 one of the Poet Laurets (sp?) submitted his first poem 99 times before it was published.
Imagine if he had given up?
Remember behind every rejection slip is a naked editor who probably farts.
Cate,
My writing teacher Maureen Ryan Griffin says she could wallpaper her entire house 2 times with all her rejection letters and she just published her latest book Spinning Words Into Gold.
I think you are a fine writer!!!!!!!! I am always drwan-in by your writing. I even have you as a link on my blog so I can get to you easier.
Have your tried Main Street Rag in Charlotte? Scott Douglass is an awesome publisher and he believes in people like you. If you have not tried him...check out his web-site. He maybe interested in you.
Sooner or later a wise and wonderful editor/publisher is going to discover your talent. Then watch-out world!!!!!
I am right there with you! Last year I came excrutiatingly close to getting my and Laini's book published by a publisher I love, and then, after a few months of waiting for them to make a final decision, they passed. I can't tell you how sad I was-SO SAD, SO dejected, it was really bad. But I just want to say again I adore your writing! Your words just tumble over each other in this incredibly delightful and wonderful way so keep going! !!!!
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