Block Party
Alright. So, I'm blocked.
I mean, maybe not. I'm showing up at the page, I'm taking it one word at a time.
But they're not coming out the way I'd intended them to.
This has been going on for about a week now. I blamed the blog. I blamed the telephone. I blamed my twitches. I blamed everyone and everything except for myself. Then, I began doing that, too.
I think I started trying too hard. I was making writing a big deal when I don't think that writing has to be a big deal at all. I think it can have the lackluster passion of a gameshow consolation prize, yet still occupy a place on the shelf as a formidable force (like a year's supply of Turtle Wax that keeps your car oh so shiny).
So, I got myself together in all regards. Like Julia Cameron suggests, I husbanded the things that needed husbandry. I made a vegetable soup wild with sliced potatoes, baby carrots, diced tomatoes, shredded spinach, fresh Bella mushrooms, Bay Leaves, and pearls of garlic, and beads of barley. I unloaded the dishwasher and paid attenton to the Melmac plates with their rosebud pattern, our heavy flatware, mismatched Coffee mugs, plastic spatulas, tongs, serrated knives, and whimsical bowls adorned with cartoon characters. I took a hot shower and shaved the parts of my body that society deems shave-worthy. I washed my hair with mango scented shampoo. I slathered a grainy scrub over my knees, feet, and elbows. When I was done, I slicked cranberry nailpolish on my toe nails. I organized piles and receipts. I ate a dozen peanut butter eggs and they hatched inspiration on my tongue. I took my child to the library and when we came home, our arms were stocked with books. I rearranged the queue. I danced the mambo to an Audioslave song. I paid the mortgage. I massaged the baseboards with a damp, lemon scented washcloth. I took my child to play group, where we, the mothers, were sequestered into a private room and offered a small workshop about preconception health (which segued into a discussion regarding the merits of smoking cannabis versus tobacco while expecting).
In other words, it began to rain into my empty well.
But I'm still not there. I'm still careful with my bucket. I'm afraid to run too fast, for fear that some of the water might slosh out. So, today, I'm bundling my boys in their puffy jackets and urging them outdoors. I'm preparing myself a literary cocktail of prayer, Julia Cameron books, Natalie Goldberg books, Sandra Cisneros books, PoemCrazy, Woody Allen movies, the latest issue of Poets and Writers, my notebook, and a small logging camp of colorful felt-tip pens.
Any suggestion about the inspiration cocktails that you prefer to mix when you are hosting a block party? I'm waiting . . . and I'm thirsty!
I mean, maybe not. I'm showing up at the page, I'm taking it one word at a time.
But they're not coming out the way I'd intended them to.
This has been going on for about a week now. I blamed the blog. I blamed the telephone. I blamed my twitches. I blamed everyone and everything except for myself. Then, I began doing that, too.
I think I started trying too hard. I was making writing a big deal when I don't think that writing has to be a big deal at all. I think it can have the lackluster passion of a gameshow consolation prize, yet still occupy a place on the shelf as a formidable force (like a year's supply of Turtle Wax that keeps your car oh so shiny).
So, I got myself together in all regards. Like Julia Cameron suggests, I husbanded the things that needed husbandry. I made a vegetable soup wild with sliced potatoes, baby carrots, diced tomatoes, shredded spinach, fresh Bella mushrooms, Bay Leaves, and pearls of garlic, and beads of barley. I unloaded the dishwasher and paid attenton to the Melmac plates with their rosebud pattern, our heavy flatware, mismatched Coffee mugs, plastic spatulas, tongs, serrated knives, and whimsical bowls adorned with cartoon characters. I took a hot shower and shaved the parts of my body that society deems shave-worthy. I washed my hair with mango scented shampoo. I slathered a grainy scrub over my knees, feet, and elbows. When I was done, I slicked cranberry nailpolish on my toe nails. I organized piles and receipts. I ate a dozen peanut butter eggs and they hatched inspiration on my tongue. I took my child to the library and when we came home, our arms were stocked with books. I rearranged the queue. I danced the mambo to an Audioslave song. I paid the mortgage. I massaged the baseboards with a damp, lemon scented washcloth. I took my child to play group, where we, the mothers, were sequestered into a private room and offered a small workshop about preconception health (which segued into a discussion regarding the merits of smoking cannabis versus tobacco while expecting).
In other words, it began to rain into my empty well.
But I'm still not there. I'm still careful with my bucket. I'm afraid to run too fast, for fear that some of the water might slosh out. So, today, I'm bundling my boys in their puffy jackets and urging them outdoors. I'm preparing myself a literary cocktail of prayer, Julia Cameron books, Natalie Goldberg books, Sandra Cisneros books, PoemCrazy, Woody Allen movies, the latest issue of Poets and Writers, my notebook, and a small logging camp of colorful felt-tip pens.
Any suggestion about the inspiration cocktails that you prefer to mix when you are hosting a block party? I'm waiting . . . and I'm thirsty!
21 Comments:
Ok we're talking writers block and not some kind of bowel problem right? haha.
You said it yourself, writing doesnt really have to be such a big problem especially if you are good at it! (Which clearly, you are!) You just need to relax and stop thinking about how er... blocked you are, and just think about something else and eventually it'll come. Creativity is most usually a spontaneous process anyway. You can't just grab an easel and a paintbrush and expect to paint a masterpiece on demand.
It'll come to you :) I hope for your sake of sanity, sooner rather than later.
xx
Jess
Mmm, love that Julia Cameron quote.
Sounds like a good life productivity. One can't have the freedom to write while backburner energies are simmering away in danger of burning. Nothing permits words like the other side of silence and purpose.
Cocktail's I got nothing there.
After reading that, as the reader, it doesn't sound like your blocked, but if you feel that way, than you are. The most powerful thing I get from reading you is the honesty and detail. Even in accounting your everday duties, there is a flow and sensitivity that is distinctly YOU. I find your style easy and comforting and thought provoking.
I am still searching for my inspiration cocktail. Sometimes I think I try to do too much, push it too hard. So I stop what I am doing until I feel the engines warming up again. Maybe let some water "slosh" out, cause it might be fun to find a new place to get more...
gotta love the puffy jackets, they bounce off everything, and look like little Michelen babies.
probably it is just good to do something else when one feels blocked and not to write (and not to think of it! -easy to say hard to do), just some innocent distraction....and then see what happens out of this....one just can't write everyday
take care...
I'm not a writer so my advice may be silly but I think if you write something else just for fun - put the "task" aside for a bit and let yourself get lost. Write something with no pressure or deadline attached. That no one will ever read but you perhaps. Maybe go someplace different. A place you've never been before with a new journal and a really funky pen... A pen that makes you laugh out loud would be good I think. Change beverages too. Try something you've always wanted to try. Maybe indulge in something with a million calories. Just enjoy!
The entry today was just fabulous to read. I love reading your blog and I hope you write a novel someday. I would buy it. In hardback even! Bye :)
Hi there -
Oh sister, we really ARE on a similar wavelength right now! I've been doing all kinds of filling up this week and no words are coming. I nodded my way through your post, thinking, I KNOW!! I still haven't got any writing done.
My inspiration cocktail also includes literature, notebooks, my laptop, and a DRAWER full of felt-tips and other pens. Sometimes when I am desperate I watch something like the movie Chocolat. It makes me feel a bit of magic. I go for long walks, I clean my house, cut up magazines, and just generally HOPE for words to come. I went out today. Tomorrow I am showing up and I am not leaving again until SOMETHING happens!! I will be thinking about you!!!!
Music helps me. You know, the songs that conjure a point in time, a feeling. A drive at twilight can work wonders too.
-- "I massaged the baseboards with a damp, lemon scented washcloth." --
You leave me breathless!
Seriously, that impresses me. As for your block, you don't sound the least bit blocked from this end. There is something to be said for the writer who makes a list of chores sound interesting. I'm thinking it must actually be harder to vividly describe the mundane than it is to create dialogue, no? You're golden chicky.
Love ya!
p.s. - never blame the telephone.
Mango scented shampoo! Ummmm - check out www.BathLab.com
Cate, I love the way you paint such detail-rich pictures of your life. Also, the phrase, "it began to rain into my empty well" is gorgeous. For me, the will to write comes and goes, and it can be really fragile, but I almost always find that if I force myself to sit there and write long enough, that stubborn thing inside me usually gives way and no matter how sure I am I'm not interested in what I'm doing... I get involved in it. Usually. There's a quote I love, I forget who it's by, that I used to identify with wholeheartedly: "I don't love writing. I love having written." (Tama Janowitz maybe?) I actually enjoy it a lot more now than I used to, and I think I'm headed in the right direction.
I love your words here Cate, even if they aren't the words you intended to write. I love that your peanut butter eggs hatched on your tongue (they do that on my tongue as well!) and even more so, your great preconception health conversation.....why aren't I meeting moms like that??
I like that your guarding your bucket and I think you'll be sufficently quenched very soon!
Jess,
You and me both, sister. Thanks for stopping by and offering some advice!
Pearl,
Your comment may have well been a cocktail! I just drank up those words. Thank you!
Rebecca,
You are an incredible writer--I love that image of Michelin babies! By the time they come in, my Michelin babies always have rivers of snot flowing out of their noses and bright red cheeks!
Thank you for that heartfelt advice. I like the idea of letting some water slosh out so I can find a fun place to get more--I hadn't thought of that! xo
Antonia,
Yes, I think you're right. I think that the problem comes with investing too much thought into the process. Distractions can be good, then jump immediately, without reflection, back onto the page. Thank you!
Jennifer,
Ohhh, a new beverage! Now, I want to rush to Starbucks and consume something decadent! Thank you for saying you'd buy a novel I wrote, and in hardback, too! That is the ultimate compliment! xo
Megg,
It's Sunday and I hope you are writing. I'm planning to start here in about ten minutes! I hope we are able to compare accomplishments later!
Jason,
Thanks for sharing your wisdom! I listened to music last night and felt quite inspired. Thanks!
AG,
Thanks for the lovely comment. You left ME breathless. And I screamed with laughter over "never blame the telephone!"
I'll talk to you tomorrow! Love you.
Laini,
Thank you so much for your kind words! I go back and forth between liking to write and liking having written! You are so right--just sit down and get into the momentum. There is no doubt that you're headed in the right direction--hopefully, I'll be joining you!
Acumamakiki,
Oh, thank you--your comment was so nice! Those peanut butter eggs hatch on your tongue, too, ehhh? (Isn't this a lovely season! Easter candy season!). Oh, and the Playgroup is great--to be honest, I should be able to write volumes with the inspiration that those ladies provide--it got "raw" when we pioneered into the subject of birth control!
Your words seem to be flowing beautifully. I loved reading this post. Dancing to Audioslave is quite freeing isn't it?
Natalie Goldberg, Sandra Cisneros, Woody Allen, AND POEMCRAZY- all among my favorites too Cate! I think you are the only other person I know who knows Poemcrazy. Your writing is so brightly lit with description. I just spent the last 20 minutes reading through your old posts and they are truly wonderful. And I admire you for sitting down and sloshing your way through your writing block!
That's funny because I spent this lazy Sunday morning sloshing through her main website reading the short stories...I was relaxed and in a mood to be swept away and Cate's stories did just that.
Knock down those blocks babe, you have hungry readers.
a.
Out of all honesty I do not write every day on purpose. Even if I feel like it. If I write 2 or 3 days out of the 7 I consider that quite good. There are times I write every day consistently, but then need a few days to recharge, to read, to walk, to pray, to think. But that is me, it's not something I'd recommend for everyone. I love writing, it's a compulsion, but I also enjoy just sitting down, enjoying a good book and not thinking about it as well.
Read. Get a good book and sit down and read. It'll shake the tree and you'll be surprised what falls out.
Tanya
I just love when people who have "writer's block" can write an eloquent blog about it...
It is like people who just can't get around to procrastinating :)
Bradley
The Egel Nest
Don't you wonder if it just has to ebb and flow like everything else on earth? Writing always returns. It just does it at its own pace.
everyone has left you such incredible comments...
i love the literary cocktail you have described and hope it did the trick.
my suggestion: get yourself some bubbles and blow away, giggling with delight.
Michelle,
Nothing beats Audioslave, at this time, for me. I keep listening to "Like A Stone." It's just so good!
Alexandra,
Thank you! I love PoemCrazy. I can't believe that more people aren't familiar with it! It's one of my all time favorite books--I feel such a kinship with you over that (and the love of Woody Allen movies! We just watched Melinda and Melinda--it was great!).
Andrea,
I'm not kidding--that was the nicest comment I've ever received. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my stories. If that doesn't knock down the block, nothing could! XO
CR,
Oh, you're right. Refueling is a must. I'm learning that. And spending time not thinking about it, too. Thank you.
Tanya,
I love that idea of shaking the tree. I'm eager to see what falls out!
Bradley,
Hahaha. I flippin' know. I can write posts. It's the short stories I'm having trouble with! Hugs to the wife! I hope you're taking care of her!
Stephanie,
You're so right. I love that concept of ebb and flow. I think that my panic comes in not trusting that the writing will return. What a negative energy it is to worry and obsess--always seems to make the problem worse! Thanks for the advice.
Liz,
Aren't these comments spectacular? Thanks a lot for yours. It's ironic--in our Playgroup the other day, my two year old blew bubbles by himself for the first time. He was so impressed with himself and absolutely in awe of his bubbles--tried to catch them, yet was fine with the fact that they popped. Accepted this. Hmmmmm--acceptance . . . what an interesting concept! I could learn so much from the things going on around me--I just need to pay better attention. Thanks for the reminder!
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