Running In Place, Just Like Fred Flinstone When He Drives
Of course I'm nervous. Afraid that the words will stop. Or worse, that the fear of them, fear of the results, will override my love for them.
I knew that if I sat down and started writing, everything would be alright. I knew this three years ago, when I started writing again after only sporadic attempts during a seven year period. I know this in my heart, every time. It's the convincing of my hands, my fingers on a keyboard, to cooperate. And the convincing of my spirit, too.
But this is true, too. My efforts are awkward at first . . . but they do get better.
Talent untested is the basis of daydreams. If only I were writing . . . if only I were submitting . . . The potential of recognition resides in that untested talent. Testing means risking. And risking can mean failing.
But I am learning that effort can be the basis of daydreams, too. Maybe not this story, but possibly the next one that I will show up to write.
So many lovely words on the page. Some right. Some wrong. But for a brief moment, all mine.
I knew that if I sat down and started writing, everything would be alright. I knew this three years ago, when I started writing again after only sporadic attempts during a seven year period. I know this in my heart, every time. It's the convincing of my hands, my fingers on a keyboard, to cooperate. And the convincing of my spirit, too.
But this is true, too. My efforts are awkward at first . . . but they do get better.
Talent untested is the basis of daydreams. If only I were writing . . . if only I were submitting . . . The potential of recognition resides in that untested talent. Testing means risking. And risking can mean failing.
But I am learning that effort can be the basis of daydreams, too. Maybe not this story, but possibly the next one that I will show up to write.
So many lovely words on the page. Some right. Some wrong. But for a brief moment, all mine.
posted by Cate at 5:34 PM
16 Comments:
hello my dear...i am sorry i haven't been by in a while...but i kind of feel like this post is a little letter that we are exchanging because these thoughts have been on my mind since i actually started writing and realizing how much i want to own that writing is a path for me.
i am learning this valuable lesson that it is only through writing that the writing comes. it is only when i put words to a page that the words show up, that the ideas bloom...
yes.
thank you for inspiring me to remember this over and over.
blessings,
liz
"Talent untested is the basis of daydreams." This is so true. I sometimes have to push myself to believe that there is a purpose to this writing I do, and that it has value, beautiful or not. I love your writing, and am so glad I'm getting the chance to read your words.
And y'know Fred only runs in place for a little while. Once he gets going, vrooooooom! :-)
Something tells me you'll be just fine. :O). Though I can relate to the words disappearing. Here's to the mind never being empty, the heart always full, and may your hands never get cramped.
I think it is safe to say that we have all been there. Sure some of the words disappear,but then there are the ones that stick around in your brain like that annoying commercial jingle that you cant get out of your mind. Unlike the songs though the stories, the ones that are worth telling at least refuse to completely go away. The characters in your mind that are truly worth talking about have a story to tell......They may go away for a little while but before long they are back knocking on the door of your mind once again. They have a story to tell and arent going to take no for an answer until you agree to tell it. Even if you finally give in and make a half hearted effort to tell the story 'just to make them go away" sometimes you are surprised with the results. Sometimes the "one legged monkey trainer" just needed to get you to the keyboard where they can take over and write the story for you. Sometimes once they get you there they have no idea what they want to say, but ahhhh once in a while........once in a while something great happens.....
again, another great post.....
INKcogKNEEdough
Oh, what a good post you have here... and I so often feel JUST like this. Blah! You know, i have risked sending out stuff two times. And both times I was published, and it felt great. But I am still so scared that NEXT time they will hate it, and I will find out I suck. That line you said about "talent untested"... How true that is!
But you have true talent, and you have nothing to lose by trying! Just do it. I would read anything you write. ;)
:)
I know all about awkard efforts. Somedays when I sit at the computer and attempt to write, I wonder why I am bothering at all.
But it's not about how wonderful your words are. It is about how those words make you feel, how they make you passionate, and how they have meaning.
Almost every post I've read of yours has it's own unique style to it. Keep on doing, whatever it is that you are doing, and you will go far.
*hug*
-Aly
That is why I love visiting your blog...you are able to write about things that I feel...that I could not write myself!
Bradley
The Egel Nest
You've got nothing to worry about Fred. Just tell that inner critic to shut up! If you haven't read "Writing down the bones" by Natalie Goldberg, that's a wonderful book. "Keep on truckin"
When I fail I at least know that I've taken a risk. If I don't take a risk at all, I've failed with regrets for not having tried :-)
And besides...you write beautifully!
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
~Samuel Beckett
Yes, I use this quote on my blog, but I do live by them, especially "Try Hard. Fail Hard. Fail Better."
Thank you, everyone, for your warm words, advice, and encouragement! It's so nice to know that I'm not alone, that other people have the same fears about the words disappearing.
Hope that you all have a lovely weekend! Thanks again for these comments which just warm my heart!
P.S. RDL, you mention a book that I often come back to! It's brilliant, and your words were just the little reminder I needed--I'm pulling it out again this afternoon!
I could so relate to this! I have recently been writing more after a long hiatus and am unsure of the next direction.
It took me ten years of experimenting to discover the process that works for me - a way to write consistently without those long breaks. I think if you keep searching for it, it will come to you.
My process: get up EARLY every morning (4:45 AM - out of necessity only) and read 5 poems, then immediately write something. Many days it's just journal writing (3 pages in a small journal). Sometimes an idea for a poem comes out through that writing, and if so, I spend the next several days, however long it takes, working on that. If not, I just write garbage anyway ("today I'm going shopping...") and tell myself hey, at least I wrote. I spend a maximum of 30 minutes a day on this, because that's about all I have to spare. It's not much, but it's enough!
ECM,
Am so glad that you are back at--I think many of us have been writers since we were children, and that there have been peaks and valleys in our lives in terms of its (the writing's) place in our lives! I so enjoy reading your work! Thank you for the comment!
Twitches,
I don't want to leave the impression that I don't have a process. I do. Yours sounds like it works well for you. Thanks for your comment!
January said it, Samuel Beckett's take on life is unique and he just didn't care. We could all learn something from him. Your words though pierce daggers into my heart. I am like damn, how did she get into my brain. Saying what I want to say but I can't find a way to articulate. Thank you for that.
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