Time for a Defiant List
My wee Jamesy is oppositional.
I say, "James?" and he says, with his chest puffed up in two year old glory, "No." I say, "James?" again, he pulls his chest up higher and shrieks, "NO!"
Today, I'd like to do some yelling of "No." I'll start here.
Things that I'm currently defiant about:
1. People who insist on "parking" their car in the middle of the street behind my house to "bullshit" with their neighbor. While I am jockeyed in position behind them, trying to get to my driveway yet unable to squeeze around their monstrosity of a vehicle, I resist the urge, really, I do, to crash my foot down on the accelerator and ram them. My time is as important as theirs. You want chit chat, you get a parking spot.
2. Chipotle, McDonald's, cookies, icecream, and beer for dinner tonight. That's what we had because I wasn't cooking. And it tasted fine. It tasted better than fine.
*Kids substituted "strawberry milk" for beer. Just needed to clarify that in case anyone assumed the worst. I mean, I myself started early, but not that early . . .
3. The receptionist who stated flatly, "Really," after hurling out the news that my blood tests were normal and hearing my refusal to sit and wait to see if the twitching, total body jerks, and tremors continue for the next few weeks. "That is not acceptable, Connie," I said. Connie got her ass into the doctor's office and got me a referral, that's what she did. Tomorrow, I call The Neurologist.
4. Tomorrow, I'm not going anywhere, so I'm not going to brush my teeth. I probably won't be kissing anyone tomorrow, either.
5. If my cat wants to sit in the bathtub, shedding nasty clumps of black fur all over the drain (and then, that fur mixing with the droplets of water that leak out of the faucet, creating a damp, hairy mess), I'm going to let him. I mean, what else does he really have to do each day? Other than lick his own ass. Or his brother's.
I say, "James?" and he says, with his chest puffed up in two year old glory, "No." I say, "James?" again, he pulls his chest up higher and shrieks, "NO!"
Today, I'd like to do some yelling of "No." I'll start here.
Things that I'm currently defiant about:
1. People who insist on "parking" their car in the middle of the street behind my house to "bullshit" with their neighbor. While I am jockeyed in position behind them, trying to get to my driveway yet unable to squeeze around their monstrosity of a vehicle, I resist the urge, really, I do, to crash my foot down on the accelerator and ram them. My time is as important as theirs. You want chit chat, you get a parking spot.
2. Chipotle, McDonald's, cookies, icecream, and beer for dinner tonight. That's what we had because I wasn't cooking. And it tasted fine. It tasted better than fine.
*Kids substituted "strawberry milk" for beer. Just needed to clarify that in case anyone assumed the worst. I mean, I myself started early, but not that early . . .
3. The receptionist who stated flatly, "Really," after hurling out the news that my blood tests were normal and hearing my refusal to sit and wait to see if the twitching, total body jerks, and tremors continue for the next few weeks. "That is not acceptable, Connie," I said. Connie got her ass into the doctor's office and got me a referral, that's what she did. Tomorrow, I call The Neurologist.
4. Tomorrow, I'm not going anywhere, so I'm not going to brush my teeth. I probably won't be kissing anyone tomorrow, either.
5. If my cat wants to sit in the bathtub, shedding nasty clumps of black fur all over the drain (and then, that fur mixing with the droplets of water that leak out of the faucet, creating a damp, hairy mess), I'm going to let him. I mean, what else does he really have to do each day? Other than lick his own ass. Or his brother's.
posted by Cate at 7:38 PM
8 Comments:
Have I told you lately how much I absolutely love this blog? You shine on this post and I LOVE it!
xoxo
Baylor,
You are awesome. You cheered me up with this comment. It's been a blah couple of days, but you provided a little moment of brightness. Thank you!
WOW!
Either no one else feels defiant or their scared...
Anyway, go you! Why not feel this way. Why can't we all have a "bitch list."
Here's mine:
1.) I hate politicians who feel that they know what's best. Who's best? Many times not the majority's but their own.
2.) Distracted drivers. I totally agree that cell phones should be banned from people driving unless they have hands-free or head-sets.
3.) Fast food restaurants. Who are they to tell me that Super-size is no longer healthy for me? I'm 5'-7", 165 pounds, and love fast food. So, if I want a super sized meal, I can;t get it. Instead, I need to order a large meal, small (or medium) fry, and a small (or medium) drink in order to satisfy my cravings. My thoughts, they wanted more money. They usually get another $3.00 out of me now versus the old 59 cents.
4.) Plastic surgery. There is a joke at work that says the women in the mall near by have more plastic in them than the cars they drive. Why would any person (men included since they are getting more and more surgery now) want to look scared all the time (Like Joan Rivers)? I do not include thos ewho need it for medical reasons. My gripe is with those who want it, "Just because."
5.) Whiney sports fans. Come on. If your teams loses, let it go. This is not a life threating situation (unless you spend a lot of time in Vegas with people named Tony, Louie, and Vito). How in the world is your whining going to change the outcome. Do you think the NFL is going to call you up and say, "You know what Mr. Z, you're right. That play was called incorrectly and we are going to play the game again."
Sorry for the rant. I can empathize.
Read ya' Later.
BTW, Love the cats comment. Are they starring in the sequel to "Brokeback Mountain?" I hear its called "Catscratch Mountain."
Thanks again.
I love the cat comment as well and am dying over human 2's comment about Brokeback Mounta. It's all the more funny because they look like my cat Foxly who is white with black spots (devil horns) above both ears.
Human Z,
Love your lsit and agree with most, esp. the abolition of Super Sized meals. WTH? I love a packet of Super Size fries. And I laughed at your cat mountain comment. Good one!
Michelle,
Thanks for the nod for the cat comment. I swear, it's what they do for fun. I've got to check your site for pictures of Foxly--love the term "devil horns!" Our white cat has a little black patch on his head--it looks like a crooked toupee. The black one has white hind legs and looks like he's wearing a leotard. Sometimes, I just stare at them and laugh. I'm sure they feel the same about me.
#1 - I love wee oppositional Jamesy. #2 - I love the kitties. Happy to see photos of them.
AG,
Speaking of photos, you need to send me some. NOW. I know, I know, I'm a hypocrite.
Thanks for the nod to my boy and my kitties. Hope yours are doing well.
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