What My Giant Eagle Advantage Card Might Say about Me

That she can be sweet-talked
by exotic boys named
sorrel, arugula, and enoki.

Do not ask her to move to a shorter line.
She needs to know
what Justin wrote to Britney.

That a can of salt and vinegar Pringles
on the shelf
reminds her of
the lanky sillhouette of a
wrangler.

That ibuprofen and coconut smothered donuts
and Coke
are the winds, brass, and percussion
of an orchestra.

A coupon caddy might be beneficial;
last week, she had a hard time locating the
2 for 1 Hot Pockets flyer.

That she appreciated the kicky paper towel demonstration
but isn't interested in a free sample of Fiber One.

That she pretends that she is
grocery shopping in a movie
when the song, "Carnival,"
plays in the background.

And that she takes the corners on two wheels,
crashes into the bread display-
every now and then.