What's The Point, Anyway?
I'm laying on the couch with a blanket when I realize how good it would feel to be reading a book. To get caught up in someone else's story. To have hundreds of pages of potential, stretching in front of me.
I'm laying on the couch, but I reach for my computer when I could be daydreaming. Of course, the TV is on. It is loud and obnoxious. The lights are bright, and the room is cold.
I am not creating coziness. I am not creating peace.
I am creating frenzied, ego-feeding ambition, which is the equivalent of the buzz of an overhead light. It's annoying. And unsatisfying. And as worthwhile as worrying.
Pointless.
I want pointless that is self-indulgent. The pointless painting of toe nails. The pointless candles around the bathtub. Pointless lingerie that's just going to end up on the bedroom floor. The pointless escape of a "trashy" book. The pointless playing of The Sims2: Nightlife, even though the house needs cleaning.
Especially because the house needs cleaning.
I want to do things because they are fun. Creating Boro Pokeno because we can. Laughing at Jeff Barnosky's story in McSweeney's because it's flippin' funny, not because its intelligent and literary. Watching the tragedies unfold on Little House on the Prairie reruns (don't those people ever get a break) and dabbing at my eyes with a tissue. Tickling James because he's got a contagious laugh.
Maybe I should be mopping the kitchen or dusting the fireplace.
Then again, what's the point?
They're just gonna get dirty again.
I'm laying on the couch, but I reach for my computer when I could be daydreaming. Of course, the TV is on. It is loud and obnoxious. The lights are bright, and the room is cold.
I am not creating coziness. I am not creating peace.
I am creating frenzied, ego-feeding ambition, which is the equivalent of the buzz of an overhead light. It's annoying. And unsatisfying. And as worthwhile as worrying.
Pointless.
I want pointless that is self-indulgent. The pointless painting of toe nails. The pointless candles around the bathtub. Pointless lingerie that's just going to end up on the bedroom floor. The pointless escape of a "trashy" book. The pointless playing of The Sims2: Nightlife, even though the house needs cleaning.
Especially because the house needs cleaning.
I want to do things because they are fun. Creating Boro Pokeno because we can. Laughing at Jeff Barnosky's story in McSweeney's because it's flippin' funny, not because its intelligent and literary. Watching the tragedies unfold on Little House on the Prairie reruns (don't those people ever get a break) and dabbing at my eyes with a tissue. Tickling James because he's got a contagious laugh.
Maybe I should be mopping the kitchen or dusting the fireplace.
Then again, what's the point?
They're just gonna get dirty again.
posted by Cate at 3:06 PM
5 Comments:
I hear you. I rented 5 (count them 5) movies to watch. I feel indulgent and I'll probably watch them while wearing my retro shrimp pink lacy slip, just because I can.
Hi, enjoyed reading your blog! I have learned to clean in 10 minute stretches... I call it grazing:)))
Nothing pointless about candles around the tub, what if the power went out? :)))
Hope your evening is relaxing!
I've been leading a real pointless life the last few days :)
Michelle, your movie marathon sounds like fun. I used to work at a video store and I'd haul 10 movies home at a time. Nothing better than holing up for a holiday with movies. What did you get? Oh, and your slip sounds beautiful. I love girly things. And there's no better reason than just because you can!
Ldahl, LOVE the concept of grazing! I'm adopting it. And you're right about the candles being necessary--now if you could just help me justify playing The Sims2?!
Thanks for your comments!
Should I tell you about cleaning by deception? You take several shopping bags and load all clutter into them, then take the bags and shove them in the back of a closet. Cheers you up immediately. Leave for 6 weeks, at the end of which everything is outdated or un-needed and you can just dispose of everything left in the bags. Rule: Only two bags per closet:))) One feels so much better when there are rules and you have obeyed them:)))
(You are on your own with the Sims)
Ldahl,
Ha. You made me laugh with the Sims comment.
I tried your "cleaning by deception" strategy last night. I think it's gonna work for me! You're so right about obeying rules--you've motivated to make an entire list: no cleaning between 11-3 pm, 10 minute blocks, 2 bags per closet, no kitchen on bathroom days and vice versa, etc.
I feel empowered! Keep me informed if you come up with any other techniques!
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